I get mail

Spam mail. I don't mean your regular crap. Professional spam mail from the professional spammers: PR. Somebody put me on a list and now all kinds of companies and individuals are paying all kinds of PR agencies lots of money so that the PR agencies can pay the mailing list compiler a load of that money to send me spam about their crap photography competitions. And then I laugh at them in public. Money and time well spent all round, I think.

Last week, for instance, Rebecca at AppleJupp could hardly contain her excitement to be announcing to me the totally new "mobile phone photography course" being organised by "Photography Made Simple". For just forty pounds, this unique course will, for the first time ever in the UK, teach you how to take photos with your Blackberry. But where do you go to become a qualified cameraphoner? Crystal Palace.

Sadly, as it was last Saturday, I was too late to make an anonymous tip-off.